The Freedom to Breath

I’m sitting here at the Starbucks in the Jakarta international airport. We’re all checked in and just waiting for our flight later tonight to Singapore. We have several hours until we leave, so a lot of time to kill. This is rare for us. . . having time to kill. In fact it’s so rare the only thing I can think to do is write about it. Maybe a burst of inspiration will hit me in a minute or so. But right now I can’t think of anything to do. Maybe boredom is a healthy feeling. Maybe I’ve forgotten what it means to relax- to truly have nothing to do. Perhaps being forced to sit here and wait is a good and healthy exercise for me. Like I said, I don’t get this very often.

I remember back in the day- yes, back in high school the landscape looked a lot different. I had lots of alone time- lots of time for reflection. I remember clearly the times of laying upstairs in my bedroom, listening to some reflective music like Seal or Sting, watching the different colors spin around the room as my shape lamp rotated around on the floor. Yep, good times. I think my introverted tendencies really started to solidify during this time of my life. But I learned the value if deep thought, of really thinking things through, and the importance if making time for yourself. These are things I would really have to fight for in the years to come, in my college years. Fight to make time for yourself. SO important! And it doesn’t get any easier. These are things I still have to fight for- maybe now more than ever. Maybe the older you get the busier you get. Is that true? Are we destined to be busy busy busy people for the rest of our life, all the way to retirement? I’ve always thought the idea is retirement was sort of funny. I don’t want to retire. But maybe when you get older you get to a point of slowing down. Of lessening effort and drive.

Whatever it is, whether you’re thirteen or thirty, I place great value in reflective time. Time set aside to pull away or out of the things you’re currently “in”. See things from a different perspective. Even here in Asia, in a world that is so not my own I can still sit back and marvel at the things around me, at the life around me, at the people and situations around me. So fascinating. It’s in those moments of reflection that I feel truly grateful. I step out of the daily grind and see better what God is doing, who He’s made me to be, and everything He’s already done to bring me here. Yes, I really need vacations like this. I need to be “me”. To have the ability to see the bigger picture again. Or maybe just a simple reminder that it’s OK from time to time to just relax and do nothing. Give your brain and your heart the freedom to breath, to live.