You Know You Live in Indonesia When. . .

Indonesia is definitely a different place. Here are some of the highlights that I’ve noticed and jotted down.

You know you live in indonesia when. .  .

• You come prepared to the bathroom with Kleenex in your pocket. Toilet paper is rare.

• There aren’t any recycle bins. The closest thing to a recycling bin is a garbage can beside our house. We put non burnable trash out there and poor people periodically rummage through it. I call it our “magic garbage” because I put stuff in and it magically disappears!

• You’re selective with your relationships. There’s just too many people who want to be your friend and talk to you.

• You move to the front of every stoplight with your motorbike, often weaving in between cars to get there.

• There’s no such thing as a ‘line’ at the stoplight. Motorcycles bunch up where the shade is. It’s just too hot to wait in the sun.

• Saying “hi” to a child causes them to hyperventilate.

• You can’t ever enjoy the outdoors- it’s way too hot. The sun is something to take shelter from, not enjoy.

• There are no speed limits. The potholes control the speed of traffic well enough.

• Clothes aren’t your size and your wardrobe never changes.

• You can eat almost anything and never gain weight.

• Everybody knows you, but you don’t have the slightest idea who they are!

• You choose a restaurant because of the  air conditioning, not because of the food.

• People either yell “hello mister!” or just stare blankly when they see you on the street. If you try to respond to them in English they also stare.

• All your condiments and snacks are double zip-lock bagged to keep the ants out.

• You sweep your house everyday but still can’t keep up with the dirt and dust.

• Common creatures in your house include ants, spiders, cicaks (a small lizard), mosquitoes, an occasional centipede, and occasional farm animals like goats and chickens that wander in from outside.

• You have the most beautiful sunsets in the world.

• You can buy a fresh coconut off the tree- with ice, sugar and a smile- for about 80 cents.