Josh Wants to Write

It’s been one of the most remarkable, intriguing and perhaps challenging weeks of my life. Leaving the comforts and familiarity of my modern, American culture and lifestyle, we’ve been ‘roughing it’ for the past week living with a local family and searching for a house of our own.

So what does it look like? We are woken up usually around five by either the morning call to prayer or the roosters, one of the two. We’ve been sleeping on a mat on the floor which actually is really quite comfortable. Breakfast is rice, fish and some type of spicy sauce mixed together and eaten with your right hand. Coffee is served- grounds and one spoon of sugar. We take ’showers’ twice a day which consists of pouring chilly water over your head and body using a bucket. It’s pretty shocking in the morning, but feels great later on in the heat of the day. We just use shampoo for soap.

I’m seeing more and more just how relationship based this country really is. Evenings with our family is very social. After dinner more coffee or tea is served and we all go and sit outside the house for hours. There is something called ‘mampir’ here which means ‘drop by’. People can ‘mampir’ anytime they want, unannounced, stay as long as they want, and this is both common and expected. In fact, if you don’t mampir for a while it communicates that you don’t want to be friends anymore.

Getting back to what I was saying. . . after dinner we usually sit outside and talk for hours- with neighbors, family members, friends, anybody who wants to stop by. Foreigners have never really visited, much less lived with a family in this village, and so people have been ‘mampiring’ much more regularly. They’re all very interested to meet us and are quite surprised (and honored t00) that we can speak their language. They think it’s really funny that we’re interested and care that much about them. The kids love to practice their English with us. They know a variety of basic vocabulary and a few are brave enough to try sentences. The men I’ve met are all really friendly and respectful.

The first couple days with our family were really hard. It was hard to process so much information at once. Sometimes vocabulary from two, three or more languages were being taught to me. It’s like, “If you’re from (People A) you say this. . . if you’re from (People B) you say it like this, and we say. . . ” etc. You get the idea. I had to strain to understand what they were saying. It’s gotten better though. I have a little notebook to jot down notes which helps me remember.

Our family has helped us find a house in their area! We’re really excited to live down the road and mampir as often as we want. It’s going to take a few days to get the house ready, but Kim and I are SO INCREDIBLY EXCITED to finally have a place of our own. And not only that, but it’s in a really incredible location too. It’s right in the heart of Anugerah territory. We’re excited to build on relationships we’ve already formed, plus make new ones. We’ll stay with our family till everything is ready.

I am so amazed by the contrasts I find in SE Asia. One minute I’m eating fish and mush on the floor of a random family that invited us in for a chat. . . the other minute I’m eating a mouth-watering burger at TGI Fridays restaurant. The contrast between rich and poor is so blatantly obvious, as is the contrast between traditional way of life and Western influences. It’s just so shocking.

I find so much diversity here in Kuala Lumpur. Kim and I are staying for a little over a week as we wait on our new visa. But this truly is a WORLDLY city. Worldly in the sense that people who live here are from all parts of the world. To give you a sense of this, picture this. We rode the monorail all around the city today. Sitting across the train from me were a mixture of faces, not one of which I could definitely identify as “Malaysian”. But in our one little car were people from India, Germany, Korea, China, Indonesia, America (that’d be us), and other European countries. There were too many to identify. The cacophony of languages and accents was quite a sound to hear too. A lot of people spoke English, but the “English” they spoke was as hard for me to decipher as anything else. It’s quite funny when you overhear a conversation for five minutes not understanding any of it, when all of a sudden it dawns on you, “oh my, they’ve been speaking English the whole time. . !” That’s happened on more than one occasion.

And because of all the diversity, Kim and I don’t stand out as much. This is a HUGE breathe of fresh air, trust me! When we’re back on our island, we’re the ONLY white people around. They’re very intrigued by our fair skin, big noses, and my blond hair. It’s very hard to remain inconspicuous when you’re the only different looking person for hundreds of miles. Yeah, we’re still trying to get used to that. But this little vacation is pleasant just for the simple fact of being anonymous. And in a big diverse city like this we’re enjoying it. Now we’re the ones who want to stare!

I’m feeling pretty good about the end of the year. We’ve had a lot of planning to do, more than I could’ve ever expected. But our visa is about to expire and as such, we have to leave the country to get a new one. That, as well as sell our big furniture items, pack up stuff, try to SHIP our stuff (that’s been an interesting adventure), as well as have our paperwork in order. Who would’ve thought living overseas could be so weird.

Okay, yeah, I knew living overseas would present some unique challenges. But honestly, coming into an adventure like this, you truly have no idea what you’re in store for. If I would’ve known half of what I know now back then. . . well, let’s just say I would’ve had some reservations.

But I’m NOT complaining, really! I’m LEARNING, and there’s a difference. It’s all about your attitude- and I believe my attitude is still good. A quote I like and cling to often is:

The one thing in life you CAN control is your attitude.

It’s really true! You do have control over how you respond to things- even ugly, overwhelming things. So I chose to look at all the things around me with a good attitude.

Here's a picture of Kim and me, and a few of our closest friends here in Mtown. We're glad for the friendships and people to go through this adventure with. We're pretty laid back.

This country really is beautiful if I ever just stop and take a good look. All too often I get lost in the daily things that I do here, like going to language school, working on newsletters, reading, going to restaurants, etc. A lot of things can quickly take up my time if I’m not careful- and it does!

But yesterday Kim and I went for a little motor bike ride up and around one of the nearby mountains, just outside of town. Although our city is not that big compared to others, leaving the “city limits” brings you to a much more rural, much more village like atmosphere. As we drove by people looked at us differently than they do in the city, probably because they don’t expect to see bule (white people) up that far. But the scenery along the road quickly transforms into a much more beautiful scene. We drove past a bunch of kids playing soccer at dusk, we weaved along several beautifully terraced fields- like a waterfall of soil. We passed many local farmers carrying their days harvest on their shoulders back into town or wherever. And the mountains loomed large off in front of us. Going around in the evening, like we did, was a lot fresher (cooler) and the sun set bursting over the mountain was quite stunning.

All these things we had to take in while driving slowly along the narrow road. We stopped a couple times and looked around, but for the most part it was a drive by. I hope that my experience here is not just a “drive by”. I want to be a part of what I see. I want to live IN it, and not just look AT it. There are so many beautiful moments and memories just waiting for me if I take the time to enjoy them. They are so totally here!

One of the hardest parts about living in a foreign country is the language. Of course this seems pretty obvious, but it is a LOT more difficult than I imagined. It’s not just that I can’t talk to people or communicate. The difficult part is being reduced to an infant when trying to communicate what you are feeling. I so badly want to express myself. I wish there were ways for me to effectively pass along what I really want to say. But when I meet people for the first time in this country, I have the perception that the first thing they know about me is, “oh, his language is a choppy”. I really don’t like that that is the first thing that people might know about me. First impressions are important, and it’s frustrating knowing how mine are shaped here.

Of course, that just might be my perception. The fact is, I HAVE come a LONG way with the language. When I look back over the past ten months I’m pretty amazed how far I’ve come. I remember really struggling with Spanish in high school. I don’t think language learning is my forte. But considering I’ve never really become anything close to fluent in any other language (besides English), I’m quite encouraged.

Sometimes I make the unfortunate mistake of comparing myself to others- especially single (non-married) people. They have made better progress with language learning for a variety of reasons, but I think the main reason is simply that they have more time to study and hang out with native speakers. Over time that makes a BIG difference, and I’ve seen it happen here. But it’s just not fair to compare apples to oranges. Married people have a totally different set of priorities.

One thing I’m looking forward to is moving to our next location in a few months. I have a vision of sitting in front of my house (or our neighbors house) and just shooting the breeze for a while. I look forward to spending time with locals in our next neighborhood. That is the practice I need coupled with the chance for a local friend. My heart and my language will really race along then.

It was so wonderful having Kim’s parents visit us here in country. I think the most exciting part for me was when they first came out the terminal doors, fatigued and tired, yet smiling nonetheless. It meant so much that they would travel so far just to be with us. I know how long and grueling of a trip it is to fly halfway around the world. It’s definitely NOT for the faint of heart.

But they did it. They made it safely here. Our time in Mtown was a little rushed. We only had five days or so to show them as much of our life here as possible. We built into our schedule down-time, but for whatever reason it always seemed we were busy doing something.

Bali was very different. It was incredibly relaxing and slow. Our resort/condo was in the middle of nowhere. Well, to be exact, it was in the middle of a bunch of villages, in the middle of the jungle, just a ten minute walk from the empty beach. Needless to say, it was VERY quiet at our place. There were only 7 or 8 other cottages and so we became very acquainted with the staff. Talk about personalized service!

Because it was so empty, quiet, and isolated we had plenty of time to slow down, talk and make it more fun for each other. In this case, the lack of options was really quite refreshing. Sometimes choices overwhelm me. Last time we were in Bali Kim and I stayed in a different town. We never ate at the same restaurant twice and had plenty of activities to choose from. I think after this vacation I’ve concluded that I like fewer options and less to do than more. That is the point of a vacation, right? To get away. And get away we did.

We’re back home now. It seems more drag to us than before. But we have a computer full of good pictures, and lots of great memories to carry us until we see them again.

My birthday is coming up and I have a few modest wishes. I don’t really want to go anywhere, or throw a huge party. Afterall, I’m living overseas and I’m kind of limited in what I can do. But living within my means, it would be great if I could sleep overnight at a really nice hotel, take a hot bath, watch American movies on HBO in the hotel room, and watch CNN or Fox. Then, I’d like to wake up the next morning, have a really good breakfast (sausage, eggs, coffee), and then hang out at the Starbucks for a few hours and read. I don’t ever get to do these things and that’s why they seem so special to me. But I’ve been living overseas for over six months now and my idea of ‘fun’ has drastically changed. Right now, whatever seems least stressful, relaxing, and reminds me of home sounds the best.

So I have this new motorbike now and it is awesome! It’s a Honda SupraX 125 for those who care. We’ve been living in this city for about four months now and have been relying on public transportation ever since day one. By now we’ve pretty much figured out the mini bus routes to the places we like to go. But even then we’ve been limited by where we can go and what we can do. It’s really great having our own transportation. It opens up our life and the possibilities in many new ways.

But besides all that, it’s just really fun to drive. Driving a motorbike is so much more of a sensory experience than a car. You can feel the wind on your face as you accelerate. You can lean to the left and right and the bike responds. Balance plays a part of it. It’s just a whole lot of fun. And here in Asia there are other perks too, like always going to the front of the line at stop lights. That never ceases to amuse me. Parking is easy too. Half the time you can pull over alongside the road, buy something from a street vendor, and not even leave your seat. Awesome.

There are more motorbikes on the street than cars so people expect you. They look out for you. And if you’re not sure, all you have to do is wave your hand a little to the left or right to signal your intentions. That or a tap to the horn perhaps. There’s a whole unwritten motorbike ‘language’ that I’m just starting to pick up on. Kim is getting her license tomorrow. I’m a little nervous about her driving honestly, but she wants so take a month or so and just learn from me before she tries herself. It’s a great resource for the two of us, but a little scary too. Please pray for our safety!